The Heat of Passion
by CarcinogenRush
Summary: Comedy parody. This is how MoonlightWalks and I decided the Harry Potter books really ended. Surprise pairing inside, as well as FWHG. None of this is serious romance, so don't read if you want fluff. It's really funny, though. At least, we think so.


**A/N:****Hey, everybody, CarcinogenRush here! So this story was written with my dear friend, MoonlightWalks, at her house at like, 3 A.M. Here's how it came to be- We were talking about the possible pairings from Harry Potter, and then I had a revelation: if Harry always has issues with his little scar whenever Voldemort is around, what would happened if they were paired together? The following story is the answer to my revelation. Now, this is a really weird story, but I hope it amuses you as much as it amuses the two of us. R&R, as usual! There's nothing quite so wonderful as receiving reviews! I'm sure my fellow fanfiction authors agree. So, we apologise for this story, but we were amused by the idea of it. Also, I am apologising on behalf of myself for rambling in this author's note. Without further ado, I present to you The Heat of Passion!**

**No, actually, I lied. I must inform you, Deathly Hallows did not happen in this story. Mostly because I wanted to see Fred and Hermione together. And I wanted Harry to die. Enjoy!!

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**Bold: The Weasley household**

_Italics: Flashback to dear old Harry and Voldie as they duel it out.

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**Fred sighed, shelving the book he'd been reading. He sat back in his chair, closing his eyes and resting his head against the back of it. Hermione looked up at her husband with worry in her eyes.**

**"I say, Fred," she stated concernedly, "whatever is the matter?" She picked herself up out of her seat by the fireplace and moved closer towards him. Letting out another sigh, he said,**

**"Nothing." Hermione clucked her tongue disbelievingly.**

**"How many times have you sighed in the past hour? Seven? Tell me what's wrong."**

**"I keep thinking about the unfortunate death of Harry…," Fred explained, his voice trailing off. **

**"I know," Hermione responded sadly. "I just cannot believe he's gone." They lapsed into a sad silence, broken only by the entrance of their bumbling children, son Christian and daughter Anastasia.**

**"Why are you so sad, mummy?" Anastasia asked, tugging on the edge of Hermione's shirt. Her thumb was stuck stubbornly in her mouth. Hermione ruffled the young girl's hair playfully, smiling.**

**"We're just thinking about Harry."**

**"What about 'im?" Christian piped.**

**"His death, buddy," Fred said, pulling Christian onto his knee. Christian peered into his father's face, his brown eyes wide.**

**"But his death was funny!" he said, a smile lighting up his features.**

**"Don't say that!" Anastasia cried, launching her slipper as her brother. Fred snickered, despite himself.**

**"Fred, don't laugh," Hermione scolded the snickering redhead lightly.**

**"He has a point, love," Fred pointed out, unrepentant. **

**"Tell the story, daddy!" the children chimed together.**

**"I hardly think it's appropriate," Hermione said quickly, disapproval colouring her tone.**

**"Aw, let me tell it. I'll acclimate it to befit their innocent ears," Fred promised, looking at his wife pleadingly. Under the force of three pairs of chocolate brown eyes begging her silently, she cracked.**

**"Fine," she grumbled. "You'd best make it child proof."**

**"You've heard about Lord Voldemort, right? Well, his life took **_**quite**_** a twist…" Leaning over to her brother, Anastasia whispered,**

**"Child proof **_**what**_**?"

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_"They stared at each other, locked in combat. Their eyes never left the other's face as they circled, wands never lowering. As Voldemort advanced towards Harry, Harry stumbled backwards-,"

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**"Clumsy fool!" Christian interrupted. Anastasia flicked his arm.**

**"Shut up, poop brain. I wanna hear the story!"**

**"Sorry, daddy. Go ahead," he said, adding in a mutter, "I am **_**not**_** a poop brain."

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_"-landing on his back on the earthen ground. Voldemort grinned, teeth bared, as he wand raised over his head._

_'Cr…Cr…Cru…'_

_'Just do it!' Harry growled, unable to work himself out of the position he was stuck in. Voldemort stared at the young man, helpless and unarmed. His mind was racing._

_'I…I can't!' Voldemort cried, casting his arm over his eyes. Harry stared at him, incredulous._

_'Let me get this straight,' Harry said dryly, 'You killed my parents, tried to kill me, tried-and sometimes succeeded-to kill the loved ones in my life, and made my life a living hell in general. And _now_ you can't even use the Cruciatus curse on me? You're sitting here crying? _Crying?_'_

_'Precisely,' Voldemort sobbed. Harry watched the sobbing wizard for a moment, unsure of how to react._

_'Right…why?'_

_'Because I…I…oh, curses! It's because I love you, Harry James Potter!' Harry blinked._

_'What. The. Fu-,"

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**"Fred!" Hermione said sharply. Fred looked up sheepishly.**

**"Fudge. What the fudge," Fred improvised quickly. "Because…uhm…fudge is…delicious. Who wants fudge?"**

**"We don't want fudge, daddy!" Anastasia said exasperatedly.**

**"We want the story!"**

**"Yes, yes, fine."

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_"'-fudge?' Harry asked, not believing the evil wizards words. Voldemort stared deep into Harry's green orbs. _

_'I love you, Harry,' he repeated. Silence washed over the two wizards._

_'…Uh-huh…,' Harry said in a pacifying way. 'And I'm a unicorn. Funny how these things turn out, eh?'_

_'No, no, Harry! It's true! I love you!'_

_'Ohkay,' Harry said. 'Like I said, I'm a unicorn. Oh, look, I've just grown wings!' Voldemort took hold of Harry's face in his long, pale hands._

_'It's true.'_

_'Oh, yeah? Prove it.'_

_'How?'_

_'I dunno. Kiss me?' Harry started and drew back as Voldemort complied. 'What the hell?' he asked, ignoring the searing pain in his forehead. Voldemort shrugged._

_'I did what you told me to. Does that prove my words?'_

_'Yes,' Hary said, staring unblinkingly into Voldemort's crimson eyes. 'Oh, Tom…' They kissed and embraced, Harry's scar feeling as though it were on fire. They continued kissing, long into the night, until in the heat of passion…"

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**"Harry exploded," Fred finished. Christian and Anastasia stared at their father, eyes wide and mouth agape, as Hermione dabbed at her eyes. **

**"That isn't possible," Christian challenged his father.**

**"We're wizards, bud. Anything's possible."**

**"But how did he explode? What made him go ka-boom?" Anastasia wanted to know. **

**"Well," Hermione sighed, "His scar was burning so much, because he was…er…**_**closer**_** to Voldemort than usual, and the pain made him explode."**

**"And so ended to life of the famous Mr. Potter," Fred said. Anastasia and Christian giggled. **

**"Come on, you two. It's bed time," Hermione commanded, standing up and taking hold of her children's hands. As if on cue, they yawned. **

**"Aw, mum," they whined.**

**"No arguing. You got you story. It's bed time," Fred said. She walked the children to their rooms and tucked them in. When that was taken care of, she found her way back to Fred.**

**"Oh, I miss him," she said.**

**"Me, too," Fred agreed. "But really, what a stupid way to go."

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_A/N: Quite the unusal story for me. And for MoonlightWalks. I kid you not, this is how it formed._

MoonlightWalks: Harry and Sirius.

Both of us: Ew!

Me: Snape and Voldemort.

Both of us: Ew!

Me: Harry and Voldemort!

MoonlightWalks: Oh my God, ew! Hahahaha

Me: -laughing uproariously- Ahahaha, what if Harry exploded?

_That's seriously how it formed. I'm not even , the joys of caffeine at two o'clock in the morning. I hope you enjoyed! Review, please!_


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